zelfitz (zelfitz) wrote in 1bruce1,
zelfitz
zelfitz
1bruce1

Sweet Valley High # 6 Dangerous Love



Otherwise known as the one where Elizabeth ends up in a coma. An especially well-known book from the series, no?

Elizabeth gets permission to take the Fiat to school one morning and Jess wonders why. Liz says it’s because of the reopening of the Dairy Burger. That’s lame and Jessica says so. She also says that Elizabeth is wearing an oxford shirt and a navy blazer to school. Does Liz think she goes to private school? Did anyone in public school ever willingly wear that? Dork. Anyway, Liz admits to Jess that the reason Todd didn’t pick her up for school is that he got a motorcycle. Jessica is aghast. Apparently the twins’ cousin Rexy was killed in a motorcycle accident and he and Jess were super duper close even though we haven’t heard of him before this and he will never be heard of again. Wakefield Family Rule #1- no motorcycles. Liz, of course, hasn’t mentioned this to Todd yet- and he got her a hot-pink helmet and everything! After school Todd calls Elizabeth his "motorcycle mama" and it freaks her out. As it should. Elizabeth finally tells him about the Rexy Rule and Todd wants to try and persuade Ned and Alice to lift the rule. Good thinkin’ Todd.

So Liz takes the Fiat to the reopening of the Dairy Burger and is hella impressed because now the exterior is made of natural wood planking, it has a brown plastic sign with yellow letters, and the inside is in the "wood-and-plants look so popular with the areas eateries." Wow. Chic. Liz picks up an "I Love the Dairy Burger" t-shirt which she will totally wear under a blazer someday. Meanwhile in the parking lot Jerry "Crunch" McCallister the local big ole’ high school drunkard is picking a fight with Jess’s new boy toy. But Todd rides in and saves the day by letting Crunch ride his motorcycle. Even though he’s drunk. Good thinkin’ Todd.

Back inside the DB Elizabeth is pissed because Mandy Farmer was riding on the bike with Todd and was wearing Liz’s hot pink helmet.

So at home that night, Jess is like, "Did you see that bitch wearing your fucking helmet?" Ha! Then Todd comes over to ask the Wakefields if Elizabeth can pretty please ride on his death machine? The Wakefields are all, "You’re nice and all but what a stupid question, the answer is no, and can you leave now?" And he does.

Okay B plot. Enid’s mother is throwing her a fancy, ridiculously expensive sweet sixteen party. Is there any other kind of party in Sweet Valley? Jessica wants Liz to set her up with Enid’s cousin Brian, a stud from UCLA. But Liz doesn’t want to because Jess has spent (and will spend) the rest of the series shitting all over Enid. But then Enid takes a ride with Todd on his bike and Liz is like, "Enid you have to set Jess up with Brian." Heh. Enid says no and Elizabeth asks why not and Enid says it’s because Jessica is a stone cold bitch. But not in those exact words. Then Liz gets a ride to the DB from this guy named Guy who makes a major pass at her in the car. Todd is pissed. So they agree to never ride with another person of the opposite sex in any kind of vehicle. I hope that works out for them.

Enid decides to be nice (boo) and sets Jessica up with Brian after all. Elizabeth wants Jessica to borrow her "polka- dot dress with puffed sleeves" for their date at the dance. Jess doesn’t think so.

Party night! Jess leaves the polka-dots to Liz and instead wears a black and white satin jumpsuit. Todd is late getting to the dance so Liz stuffs her face and talks to Mr. Collins. Mr. Collins? They invite teachers to their parties? What freaks these kids are. Todd doesn’t show up until after the party is over and all the kids have left and Elizabeth has been abandoned by everyone. Even Jess, who was supposed to come back and pick her up. But Liz forgives Todd when he finally shows up and she finds out that he has been selling his bike to Crunch McCallister. Liz is all hot and bothered by this and decides to give the bike a whirl after all. So Todd let’s her on the bike without a helmet. Good thinkin’ Todd.

So Liz is on the bike, her hair whipping around, clinging on to Todd, probably because she knows that this is as close to sex as she’s ever going to get. BUT THEN! Big drunken Crunch McCallister hit’s them with his purple van! Crunch has a purple van? That’s weird. Todd is fine because the asshole was wearing a helmet, but Elizabeth is in a coma, probably because one of her stupid barrettes poked her in the brain when she went down.

Jessica shows up at the accident scene- twin intuition strikes again- and rides with her in the ambulance. At the hospital Todd tries to apologize to the Wakefield family and they pretty much tell him to fuck off. Steve yells at Todd, "It should have been you!" And Todd’s like, "No, I’m fine. I wore a helmet." So Mr. Collins shows up at the hospital and dude? This is why your wife divorced your sorry ass. Don’t you have any adult friends? Liz remains in a coma despite Jess sitting by her and squeezing her hand (that doesn’t work?). She swears that when Liz wakes up she is going to make up for all the bullshit she has pulled over the years. So you can see how that turns out in Book #7, Dear Sister.  Suspense!

 

 

 

Tags: recapper: zelfitz, saint elizabeth of sweet valley, sweet valley high, trusty boyfriend todd
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    My first recap in lots of years. Hope I'm not too rusty at it! This is the final book in the second SVU lifeguard trilogy, in which Jessica,…

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