|Senior Year 34: Troublemaker
||[Mar. 16th, 2016|09:00 pm]
Elizabeth and Jessica are better than you.
I found a book that I believe has not been recapped, |
We start with the senior year diary entries where Maria congratulates herself on preparing her whole life for college, Ken realizes without a football scholarship he has no future or family, Jeremy realizes that he’s eighteen, but it would have been better if his family was there, and Conner congratulates himself for still being sober.
I keep a list of characters to tag. This book doesn’t give us last names in the beginning. Lazy ghostwriter.
Tia, Trent, Jessica, and Jeremy are on a double date to a 50’s diner. Tia and Jeremy don’t like it, but there dates do. They are happy that there’s no drama going on right now. (Read the last sentence in your best Lauren Conrad voice) The hot gossip is about Ken turning down the football scholarship, and the crew is divided along the same lines as the restaurant. Uh, oh, this could start some drama. Tia’s a little annoyed that Jessica and Trent are talking to each other. Hello? Her best friend and boyfriend should be only listening for her words of wisdom. Also, isn’t root beer Liz’s favorite drink not Jessica’s? Second ghostwriter fail.
The Next Morning
Conner wakes up and decides to sleep late. Alanna calls. He realized she could be crazy, but just dismisses it as spending too much time with Elizabeth.
Jessica wakes up and dresses with a high ponytail, scarf, and cashmere sweater set, but decides a poodle skirt and saddle shoes would be going too far. She realized that Jeremy didn’t enjoy dinner as much as she did. The solution? Throwing him a surprise party on Friday for his birthday. She calls Tia to help because she knows Liz will be too anal. Tia is out, so she calls Trent. They meet at a diner. Jess gets there first and worries that she put on more make-up than was needed. Ghostwriter, what have you done with my Jessica Wakefield? Jessica doesn’t leave the house without makeup. Trent and Jessica decide to have the party at the arcade Jessica and Jeremy had their first date. Trent brags that he plans the best first dates ever.
Jeremy reveals to his diary that he drove past his old house before going to dinner last night.
Conner and Alanna go to the same diner as Trent and Jessica for breakfast. While Conner wonders why Jessica is out with someone other than her boyfriend, Alanna tells a whopper of a story about why she had liquor bottles out but wasn’t drinking. I remember the last book; she was drinking.
Ken decides to go over to Todd’s to play video games. As a good puppy dog boyfriend, he checks in with Maria first. Maria hangs up and freaks out because while she was helping her boyfriend she’s a little behind in her homework, but as dramatic as she thinks because OMG her government paper will have to meet the requirements not the heavy detail she was hoping to dig up. At the end of the chapter, Elizabeth, Tia, and Ken all vote for her as the most studious in the senior poll. Will votes for Melissa – WTF? How is she studious?
When Conner goes to drop Alanna off, he ends up meeting her parents. Alanna is horrified that the parents of a minor would want to meet their daughter’s new boyfriend. Actual parenting success in Sweet Valley? Wow! Conner is not happy about how rich they appear. Wait, isn’t Conner rich? It turns out that her parents remember his Mom’s drunken displays that led to them being kicked out of the country club and aren’t impressed. Should people with an alcoholic daughter really be throwing stones here?
The following morning
Andy is going on and on to Tia about some gaming website. I agree with Tia that he’s boring, but her part about it not being fun to chat on sites with random people with the same interests is totally off, right, right everyone out there reading 1Bruce1? Andy leaves, and Connor arrives. He’s compelled to tell Tia that he saw Trent and Jessica eating together. If emo-boy hates drama, he doing a really good job of creating it. Ken tries to have lunch with Maria, but she’s too important for that. She hears some kids in the Oracle office talking about a guy who sells term papers. She clutches her pearls at the idea that someone could possibly not realize that high school is all about learning and growing. At play rehearsal, Tia finds out that Jessica and Trent were planning a party for Jeremy. She feels like an idiot, well who am I to argue? I told you Conner really does love the drama. In Human Psych, Maria berates herself for taking a non-AP class because it’s so boring. You know what’s really boring? Maria. I’m just waiting for us to tell us she’s a size 4, obviously better than a size 6. Then the teacher assigns a paper. Maria’s not happy, and I laugh at her shock.
At home, Alanna thinks about calling Conner. I wonder why I’m supposed to care. Alanna’s mother comes and tells her not to see Conner anymore. I think it sounds like reasonable parenting; Alanna doesn’t agree. Her Mom agrees to invite Conner to dinner. Conner refuses because he isn’t into that or you know he wants to create more drama.
Maria is feeling good about her studying until see realized the time. She starts to freak out, but Ken calls and calms her down. At 10 o’clock at night a woman from the scholarship she won calls and reminds her not to let her grades slip below a B+. Nice lady. I know this probably the most realistic story line, but Maria just bugs me with her superior attitude. At Ken’s house, his father isn’t speaking to him still for turning down the scholarship that Ken’s father tried to illegally get him. I think Ken’s father wins a very special Sweet Valley parenting award of his own.
The next day
Maria congratulates herself on how well she works under pressure. I wonder if she congratulates herself on her humility as well. At the next class, Elizabeth brings reality to Maria - and the teacher gives her a test with a B-. OMG, what will she do?
Afterschool, Jeremy catches Trent and Jessica both using Tia as an excuse to not hang out with him. He trusts them though he believes Jessica's explanation. Trent and Jessica meet and joke around. Trent says he would notice if Jessica was standing there in a bikini. Jessica blushes because Jessica Wakefield would never use a bikini to get a guy's attention. Have these people ever read anything about Jessica? Trent and Jessica almost kiss after trying a horse racing game that I think isn't supposed to be as suggestive as it is.
Back at Travis's, Jeremy opens a birthday present and reminds us that he's a great guy, who doesn't deserve to be screwed over by his girlfriend and best friend.
Getting off the phone, Jessica feels guilty. She confides to Elizabeth, who would never cheat on a boyfriend (unless one of them was out of town). Elizabeth says it's no big deal and to not tell Jeremy because they don't want to create drama.
Ken sits at home thinking about how no one loves him anymore. He calls his girlfriend to reassure him, but she's too busy being the best student ever to notice.
Then we get a whiny journal entry from Elizabeth about how great it is to not have a boyfriend because we all know she's not nearly as independent as she'd like us to believe.
The following day
Maria is running late to school. She runs into Mr. Thornton, the principal. What happened to Chrome Dome? He gives her an excused tardy slip for serioritis. Because you know Maria walks on water. Maria continues to flip out and ends up making plans to buy a term paper for her psychology class. Because doing a less than thorough job isn't possible for her, but cheating is.
Over at Big Mesa, Jeremy and his friends realize how close they are to graduating and reminisce about junior prom. I guess they don't remember starting a riot at Sweet Valley's prom. Jeremy talks about how great it will be to bring someone he really cares about to prom because that's something 18 year old boys do. Trent gets a guilty conscience and runs away.
Back at SVH, Tia interrupts Liz's whining about her job to tell how paranoid she is about Trent and Jessica. Liz reassures her that Jessica wouldn't think of cheating on the boy she loves. How quickly she forgets being thrown in the trunk of a car because Jessica cheated on AJ Morgan.
The next chapter starts with Alanna getting ready for the dinner party with her parents and Conner. Am I really supposed to care about this character? Suffice it to say the dinner party sucks, and Conner runs out after a temper tantrum. He does remember that drowning himself in vodka wouldn't be a good idea. Alanna continues the temper tantrum inside and does decide that a drink of whatever she can grab from the liquor cabinet will help.
Back in Sweet Valley, Maria pats herself on the back for being a good student before drowning in guilt of buying a paper. I'm having trouble deciding if Alanna or Maria annoys me more. In class the next day, Maria nearly runs Ken down trying to get the paper. Poor Ken.
Conner wonders if he should apologize to Alanna. I have no idea why, but feels like she's deeply troubled, and he likes that.
We cut back to Maria congratulating herself on being a cheater, of course not this is Maria, on being a good student. Well, at least she's not a smoker like the guy she bought the paper from.
We close with journal entries from Trent defending trying to steal Jessica from Jeremy.
We come back to the teacher congratulating Maria on how well written her paper was, barf.
That evening, Jessica is excited for Jeremy's party. Jeremy manages to cover that he really wanted a party with his friends rather than alone time with his girlfriend. He also assumes that Trent has been off all week because of the party. Jeremy's going to have a really bad birthday.
We see Connor and Alanna's date to depress us even more.
But then we find out that Jeremy does manage to have fun. Trent is skulking around waiting for a chance to hit on his best friend's girl. Nice. Tia hears him, of course, and spills the news to Jeremy.
Jeremy is heartbroken
As is Jessica
Tia is mad (and I still don't care about Tia)
Ken feels like his life sucks (which not going to lie, it kinda does during senior year)
Conner is in denial (Unfortunately, not drowning in de actual Nile)
As is Alanna, on both parts.