|Jessica's Top Worst Moments
||[Apr. 5th, 2011|10:14 pm]
Elizabeth and Jessica are better than you.
So, I don't know about y'all, but when I read about what Jessica did to alienate Elizabeth in SVC, I was disappointed. I haven't read the book yet (the local Borders is slow and very disappointing!), but still. Anyway, in honor of the new book being out, I suggest we Top Ten - yes, it's a verb now - Jessica's Worst Moments. Because surely all of these are worse!
[Disclaimer: I didn't have the original list I worked out before when I typed this tonight, so some may be out of order. Tried to remember as best as I could, though.]
10. Outing Enid's drug past just to win Homecoming Queen in SVH #2, Secrets. We all have stuff in our past we'd like kept secret. Some of us have more sordid stories. What hell could be worse for a teenager than having it broadcast all over school just for the sake of some popular girl wearing a paper crown?
9. Stealing money from Liz's bank account in SVU #3, What Your Parents Don't Know.... Just because you LOOK like the account holder doesn't mean you're entitled to their money, girl! (Thanks to scarlettslegacy for pointing that out!)
8. Secretly coveting and then sneaking around with Jeffrey, then Todd, in Jessica's Secret Diary Volume One and Jessica's Secret Diary Volume Two. How sad is it that stealing her sister's boyfriends is almost last on this list?!
7. Falsely accusing Todd of rape in SVH #1, Double Love. Just because he didn't want her, she didn't want Liz to have him, either. Bad Jessica. :(
6. Two-Boy Weekend.... No, make that three-boy weekend in SVH #54. She was pining over Todd (see #8), dating AJ, and sneaking around with Psycho Christopher. There are no words...
5. The Michael McAllery marriage in SVU, from Anything For Love through The Love of Her Life. Both parties were super immature, true. Mike was maybe more immature than her and certainly had quite a few problems, but reading the recaps of those books and the comments, I've actually realized something recently here that I never did before: Mike had issues that she didn't exactly help with. He clearly had problems with his mother in the past, and her pretty much acting like her marriage was this big secret to Never Ever Tell Anyone About didn't help. That last bit is the reason this one is on the list.
4. Jeremy Randall.... need I say more? SVH #107, Jessica's Secret Love through #111, A Deadly Christmas. She goes out with a man who's engaged to be married to a woman who may or may not be dying (spoiler alert: not), and speaks up at the wedding, canceling it. Yes, Jeremy was in cahoots with Sue, as it turns out, and he was using both girls, but c'mon. Interrupting a wedding? Girl, seriously?
3. Keeping Annie Whitman off the squad and being so snotty that she inadvertently drove her to attempt suicide in SVH #10, Wrong Kind of Girl. How cruel early-SVH Jessica was! :-(
2. The Sam Burgess incident in SVU Super Special Face It. You want to prevent your twin from sleeping with someone you feel is wrong for her. So the answer is... make her think you wanted to boink him, too?!!
And coming in at #1...
1. Three words: Magical Prom Vodka (A Night To Remember through The Evil Twin). Again, for the sake of a crown (see #9), she sabotaged someone. The victim: Her twin sister. The crime: Spiking her punch. The result: Her boyfriend died. She then spent several weeks sitting silently by and letting Elizabeth go through an agonizing trial. Yes, she tried to speak up after a while, but only at the very end of this miniseries. And even then, Liz only found out through her Magical Dreams of Truth.
What's shocking is that after all this, we still love the little sociopath. I know I still do, anyway. ;-)
So what about y'all? What would be on your lists? (And may I suggest we do Top Tens with other things? This was fun!)