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SVH Super Edition: Murder in Paradise - Elizabeth and Jessica are better than you. [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Elizabeth and Jessica are better than you.

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SVH Super Edition: Murder in Paradise [Sep. 28th, 2007|11:32 pm]
Elizabeth and Jessica are better than you.


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This book has murder and shallowness in it, a first for Sweet Valley High's favorite girls.

Kidding, kidding.

There's a neat cover...Jessica and Lila in horrible bright-colored bikinis. If you open the front flap, the cut away (through which Alice Wakefield is showing) shows the hand that is grabbing Alice.

This book actually wasn't awful. It was pretty exciting at the climax, for a SVH thriller.

Anyway, Jessica and Elizabeth, their mom, Grace Fowler (Lila's Mom)  and Lila and Enid Rollins, Lizzie's best friend, are going to a spa. You see, Alice Wakefield's number was randomly picked out of a phone book and she can take 6 people to Paradise Spa. Jessie, Liz, Grace, Li, and Enid make five. Enid is sad because her BF (now ex-BF) broke up with her over a pretty girl who has the personality of leftover macaroni and cheese. Seriously...poor Enid...she's a likable character! Her mom also can't make it because she has to work. So Lizzie comforts her friend while the group heads to the spa--Paradise Spa--on a train. Lila and Jessica gossip about the hot guys they'll meet and how pampered they'll be. Jessica says she's so glad she can relax after so many chores and so much homework. Give me a break, Jess! You barely keep up C's!!!

The guy who meets them at the train station is, of course, a mega-hunk. And he's NICE! Jess and Li almost have a girl-fight over him. Not that that's unusual. They're both shallow. It wasn't niceness that attracted them at first. Jess feels guilty because her BF Ken is at home, but she wants a summer fling. Even Liz is intrigued. Looks like she might be breaking up again with her perfect boyfriend, Todd, again. Because, you know, Sweet Valley High's so-proclaimed "perfect couple" sets the standard for perfect couples by breaking up over and over. Cheating is HEALTHY for a relationship, girls ;)

The spa is all perfect and the staff are all gorgeous. The guys are hot, but Li is having qualms about the hunk at the train station. He is the spa's EMPLOYEE, you know. You know how yucky people who work for a living are. Li wants to meet a rich movie star. No, seriously.

Jessica's having no problems.

Eventually they meet Tatiana Mueller, the spa's owner, whose face is scarred. She is really kind, and the girls start getting into all the spa's activities. Enid almost finds a really nice guy while playing tennis. However, beautiful, virtuous Jessica Wakefield shows up and wants Alex, even though Enid's clearly playing doubles with him--and is attracted to him. So she (Jess, not Enid) gets up on a bench and starts cheerleading! She flashes her sexy, long, tanned legs. Of course, that totally mesmerises Alex, so much that he keeps missing serves. Poor Enid, I really want to punch Jess.

So everyone's having fun except Enid. Eventually, even Liz ignores Enid. Tatiana starts giving Enid special attention--but before long, Enid starts thinking that Liz is a snob, that she (Enid) is ugly, and her life will be so much better if she's beautiful. She agrees for Tatiana Mueller to give her plastic surgery.

The gang discovers that the spa staff can't leave the spa, but everyone insists they are happy--except for Katya, a pretty and genuine girl who's really athletic. Everyone's also really gorgeous. Too gorgeous. Katya's lonely, and she wants to go back to her mom, but when questioned, she says she's 'definitely' happier at the spa. Eventually, though, she starts to open up to Alice...and is found dead in a steam room. Tatiana doesn't seem to care, and she doesn't want an autopsy. This is suspicious. There is also a white building in the woods that none of the staff will say anything about. *gasp!*

Then Elizabeth finds out that Enid's going to have a facelift, major time. She was snooping in Tatiana's office. Enid comes and very calmly says that she is thrilled to be going through with this. She acts SUSPICIOUS!

Then Alice goes missing! The gang splits up to solve the mystery. Elizabeth is captured by one of the hunk guys (can't remember the name) and taken to a lab--the mysterious white building!--, where...da, da, da! Tatiana is about to do a face switch with Alice! WTH?

Well, after some drama, the whole gang tries to save Alice. They actually called the police this time, too! But the police may be too late. Well, we know that it will end with no fatalities (to the gang, sorry about Katya), but the book is still exciting near the end. Alex and another hunk try to keep the girls from saving their mothers. Liz talks to one of them, I think it was Alex. She figured out what was going on. Tatiana has been taking in lonely and runaway kids, and practicing her art of plastic surgery on them so she can better become Alice! Enid pops in, talking about how she wants plastic surgery too. She'll be beautiful. But Liz's words reach her and pull her back, and she joins in the fight. And miracle! The hunks come back, too!

They overpower Tatiana and Tatiana's assistant. Tatiana tells her story. It's along these lines:

"Alice, you were the most beautiful, popular girl at Sweet Valley University. Everyone loved you. I was small, insignificant, ugly. How I wanted to be gorgeous like you! Then I'd be loved and popular. Everyone called me Tatty Mule. My mom took me to so many spas and laughed at my plainness before her friends."

Well, her story is sad. Alice was a perfect blonde girl too. And popular! The book also implies that Alice took part in calling  Tatiana 'Tatty Mule'. And in case you're wondering, Alice conveniently forgot about Tatiana going to SVU with her until the climax, though the name annoyed her as familiar. It turns out the random phone number thing was far from random! SCARY! xD

The staff are freed from the evil Tatty Mule! They can find jobs, go back to their families, and explain the ludicrous plot to them!

To wrap things up, here are a few notes: The gang goes back to Sweet Valley. Enid now has a boyfriend who's plain, but he's caring and genuine. Learn from this, Lila and Jess. By the by, Lila almost had her rich star, but his voice was squeaky and she left him after the first twelve seconds! OH NOES! Elizabeth promises to stay loyal to Todd, but will write her hunk anyway. Everything's happy!

Well, that's my first cap. I actually had it in my Livejournal at first! It's not nearly as good as the others. It's more like a "Jessica Wakefield school paper"...hee hee!

P.S. Tatiana's assistant is named Margo. No, really.


[User Picture]From: dirtywingsgirl
2007-09-29 05:25 am (UTC)
I loved this book, although you're right, the plot is completely ludicrous.
I felt bad for Enid too. It's not like she's even ugly or fat. She's just not spectacularly beautiful. But I guess plainness is the kiss of death in Sweet Valley!

P.S.2: I don't know how to make it so the whole novel doesn't appear on the main 1Bruce1 page.
You go to edit your journal entry, highlight the text you want to appear on a different page, and then click the "Live Journal Cut" icon (it looks like little lines of text followed by a wavy line). Hope that helps =)
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[User Picture]From: svhhorseluvr
2007-09-29 01:07 pm (UTC)
Thank you!! Can I buy you a lunch at the Dairi Burger?
P.S. I've always thought it strange that the twins eat at the Dairi Burger nearly every night, but don't get fat...
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[User Picture]From: redcandle17
2007-09-29 02:35 pm (UTC)
P.S. I've always thought it strange that the twins eat at the Dairi Burger nearly every night, but don't get fat...

Because the Wakefields are genetically perfect. Or that's the impression I got from reading The Wakefields of Sweet Valley and The Wakefield Legacy: The Untold Story.
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[User Picture]From: dirtywingsgirl
2007-09-30 09:59 am (UTC)
Yum, you sure can! I want one of those crazy hot fudge sundaes they're always eating. Maybe everything on the Casey's menu is magically fat-free.
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[User Picture]From: melody_power
2011-07-19 01:11 am (UTC)
Or how about the double cheeseburgers and fries, with a root beer float (Lizzie's favorite). Then they have the nerve to glare at Robin Wilson for eating a candy bar. Hypocrisy, much?
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[User Picture]From: _ocelott_
2007-09-29 09:17 am (UTC)
So, uh, what exactly was Tatiana planning to do after she stole Alice's face? That's just beyond creepy.

Poor Enid. She'd probably stand out more if she wasn't hanging out with the perfect size-six, blue-green eyed, blonde twins. Especially when one of them in particular is rather fond of swooping in and stealing boyfriends...
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[User Picture]From: svhhorseluvr
2007-09-29 01:04 pm (UTC)
Attach it to her own face.

No, I'm not joking.
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[User Picture]From: saucydiva
2007-10-01 03:28 am (UTC)
Call me crazy, but if I am going to steal someone's face and attach it to my own, I am going to steal her young and attractive daughters' faces, not the woman who is my own age. Why not? Might as well be young.
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[User Picture]From: thebestspeller
2007-09-29 09:01 pm (UTC)
I always thought that Jessica and Lila looked so old on this cover. They look like they are in their late twenties, at least in terms of their faces. And I never realized that the girl in the blue bathing suit was supposed to be Alice. I always thought it was Liz.

The plot for this one was so ludicrous it kind of singaled the beginning of the end for me and Sweet Valley. Although I really drew the line with the whole werewolves series.

Nice recap!
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[User Picture]From: melody_power
2011-07-19 01:13 am (UTC)
And I never realized that the girl in the blue bathing suit was supposed to be Alice. I always thought it was Liz.

Well the books do always say she looks like their older sister. xD

The plot for this one was so ludicrous it kind of singaled the beginning of the end for me and Sweet Valley. Although I really drew the line with the whole werewolves series.

Haha that's what I always loved about Sweet Valley - the ludicrousness of it all. I much prefer the 95+ books in SVH. Before that they were kind of dull at times.

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From: margowashere
2008-05-28 10:14 pm (UTC)
P.S. Tatiana's assistant is named Margo. No, really.
Omigod! Run!
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[User Picture]From: jessica_siler
2008-06-13 02:23 am (UTC)
I loooooooved this one when I first read it. I actually thought the twist was twisty(unlike so many other SVH thrillers). And this was one of my favorite covers throughout the entire series...Of course it made me feel the need to work out but whatevs! Love the recap-great job!
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[User Picture]From: melody_power
2011-07-19 01:19 am (UTC)
Awww Andy Hallett. He was a friend of mine and a wonderful person, God rest his soul. I'm glad to see he's not forgotten.
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[User Picture]From: jessica_siler
2011-07-24 04:27 pm (UTC)
You are so luck to have been able to call him a friend! I was (and am still) a huge fan but never got the chance to meet him. Everyone who did always said what an absolute joy he was to be around. He will never be forgotten :)
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From: Enid Alex
2016-06-07 10:06 am (UTC)
Jessica has Ken at home yet wants a fling??! Who on earth does that??? No wonder Ken was so sad after Jessica. That is three times she cheated on him. Poor bloke.
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