Like always, the gang is at Moon Beach. The cafe is packed and Lila and Jessica UNFORTUNATELY have to sit in a booth with Enid and Liz. THE HORROR.
Todd is at the counter, eyeing off Liz. Way to be obvious, perve. Winston offers a plate of hotdogs to him to try.
Winston: They're all beef *deeper voice* Like me.
Todd: Suddenly, I've become a vegetarian.
That's not nice :(
Winston takes over an order for Enid but she complains about it. Her burger had grilled onions and she wants them raw! AND! Winston was about to leave without taking Liz's order. And everyone else's order around them. Me thinks Enid has her panties bunched up today.
Elizabeth: Enid, I've never seen you like this. You're so..
Jessica: Mean to Winston!
Jessica and Lila: WE LOVE IT!!!!
Enid: It's my assertiveness training.
Jessica: See, all these years of picking on her really paid off.
Enid has started working at the library, where they've just received a selection of subliminal message tapes. I smell trouble already. Elizabeth thinks the tapes are a great idea and suggests that Jessica uses them to help her learn her lines. According to Jessica, professional actresses don't need tapes to learn their lines. Note to Jessica, you're not a professional actress.
Jessica: I am Doris.
Lila: You mean Dorothy.
Jessica: Her too.
Winston is looking for a pat on the back for his hot dogs, but Todd lets him down, saying they're not as good as the ones at Fun Doggies. lol wtf Fun Doggies. Winston asks Liz for support. They're better than the ones at Fun Doggies, right?!
Elizabeth: Fun Doggies. I haven't heard that name in a while. They have the best onion rings!
Jessica: *eww face* When you were ever at that dive?!
Elizabeth: *looks at Todd* It was our first date.
Gag me now. If you want to hear about how Todd impressed Liz, forget it. FAST FORWARDING. Oh, and at the same time Todd is telling the same story to Winston.
In Elizabeth's room, Enid wants to know the "411" about Liz and Todd and their smiley faces and laughter and yuck. She thinks that Todd is going to ask Liz out on their upcoming anniversary. With all the talk of their first date I ASSUME it's the anniversary of Todd and Liz's first date coming up. But you know what they say if you assume!
Todd and Winston are playing pool, and Winston is the boy-Enid, grilling Todd about what's going on about he and Liz. Winston starts pushing Todd to ask her out. And take her to Fun Doggies! Recreate their first date! Girl's love that! Let's ask Lila!
Winston: We needed a female opinion
Lila: That shirt is Salvation Army material. Those pants need to be burned. Your fingernails need to be sand blasted!
Todd: Winston thinks I should ask Liz out to Fun Doggies for our anniversary.
Lila: UGH. Women want romance, not pig parts.
Winston: The point isn't the food. It's the memory. I even have that shirt you wore that night! Remember, you gave it to me because you ruined it while fixing your car?
Lila: Forget Fun Doggies! Show Liz you can make it all the way to Luciano's this time. Rent a limo!
Winston: No! Rent the tow truck that picked you up that night.
Lila and Winston start arguing about what and where the date should be. I think I'm on Lila's side for this one.
A mysterious figure dressed in black, with a scarfed head and sunglasses creeps into the library.
Library boy: Library pass?
Mysterious figure: You don't need my library pass! I never read anything!
Library boy: JESSICA WAKEFIELD!!!!!!! What are YOU doing here?
Jessica: Get a life, book dorks!
She's looking for Enid, who is concentrating on labelling the tapes.
Jessica: I thought I'd try some of those submarine tapes
Jessica: I was thinking about memory enhancement. Afterall, nothing else about me needs enhancing.
Enids hands her a tape and goes back to labelling.
In the school hallway, Lila grabs Winston and declares they have work to do with Todd. Everyone know what time it is?
IT'S MONTAGE TIME!
For the shippers ;)
Hair curlers. Fancy shirts. Not so fancy shirts. Ugly shirts. Vegetable bouquets. Flower bouquets. Dancing lessons.
Lila and Winston do nothing but argue over the meanings of certain things. eg. Lila says a single rose says you're too cheap to pay for the other 11. Todd decides he's going to wing the date himself. Todd heads towards Elizabeth, and when Lila and Winston realise he's disappeared they chase after him because he's going to ruin everything!
Lila: He's not even moussed!
Winston tackles Todd onto the floor of a nearby classroom. Todd starts yelling that Lila and WInston are driving him insane. He's asked Liz out before, he knows how to do it again!
Todd's at the mall in a shop for girl's clothes.... sparkly girls clothes.
Assistant: What size does she wear? Is she a winter or a summer? Teenage girls look good in everything! How about this?!
Assistant: You know your little girlfriend is going to love this!
The assistant keeps throwing random clothes at Todd, and he looks up to see Lila smirking in the shop's doorway outside. Todd gives the assistant the clothes back and says "Here. They'll look great on you" and rushes outside to meet up with Lila and begs her to help him. She accepts on one condition.
Lila: You have to do whatever I tell you, whenever I tell you, without question.
Todd: Teach me, Obi-Wan!
Lila: Which one was Obi-Wan?? NOT THE PUPPET WITH BIG EARS?!?!! D:
Oh how coincidental. Liz and Enid are shopping too! Enid is excited because she's sure Todd will ask Liz out, but Liz doesn't think so! For all she knows Todd is seeing someone else. Of course Elizabeth ends up seeing Lila and Todd together in the distance. They're getting on an elevator and even more conveniently some random pervert is walking around the place with binoculars around his neck, which Elizabeth grabs and uses to spy on Lila and Todd in the glass elevator (also very convenient!).
Lila and Todd have headed down to the food court, Lila pleased with all of their purchases, but they're not done with the romanticising yet! She has a whole list of romantic phrases, ready for Todd's use, such as "Light of my life. I want you. I need you. I love you."
Elizabeth has followed them and is creeping behind potted plants to watch them talk. As she gets closer, she starts overhearing Todd read the "romantic" phrases from Lila's list. Including the line "Go out with me Saturday night, I swear you won't be sorry". She assumes Todd is being forrealz, and is asking Lila out.
In her room, Jessica is reading her Wizard of Oz script whilst listening to her subliminal message tape. In the background, Elizabeth is complaining about some glue coming off. Then she bursts into Jessica's room to complain about Todd and Lila. Jessica, is of course not listening, and is busy with her tape and script.
Jessica: *sings along* If you only had a brain.
Elizabeth: You're right. I'm being stupid! I just need calm down and collect my thoughts...
Jessica: We're off to see the wizard!
Elizabeth: You haven't heard a word I said! Fine. i don't have a boyfriend. I don't have a sister who cares.
Jessica: I don't think we're in Kansas anymore Toto.
WTF ELIZABETH. Jessica was listening to her tape and reading way before Liz burst into the room ranting. If you want someone to listen to you, MAKE SURE THEY KNOW YOU'RE EVEN THERE. Liz is making me so mad this episode!
Jessica starts falling asleep on her bed, and we hear part of the tape playing. It is playing Spanish phrases.
At school, Liz is working in the Oracle office, when Todd greets her from behind with a bouquet of flowers. Red roses and baby's breath. Nice!
Todd: This Saturday is our anniversary...
Elizabeth: Oh is it? Totally slipped my mind!
Todd: Well I was planning to, I mean, if it's ok with you,
Liz: Why are you checking with me? It's not like I have any claim on you. Do whatever you want.
Todd: You don't understand. My world without you has been dark and cold, but now with you in my life I can finally feel the sun. Go out with me Saturday night. I promise you won't be sorry.
Elizabeth: You've got to be kidding. Do I get the late shift, or the early shift?
Liz: You treat me like dirt and then hit on me with the same sleazy lines you use on other girls?!
Todd: What other girls?
Liz: Spare me the innocent act! Just get out of here and leave me alone! Permanently!
Todd: If that's the way you feel, FINE. Sorry I ever bothered you.
He throws the flowers onto her desk and walks out. You're such a bitch, Liz.
Chrome Dome is in the library, wanting to speak with Enid. He's claiming the subliminal tapes have had no effect because he hasn't learnt a thing about conversational Spanish. He does seem to know a lot about art work and some general history, though. He leaves the tape on the desk and Enid picks it up and opens it.
Enid: Why is power memory in Spanish? And if power memory is in the Spanish box... then Spanish must be in the.... uhoh.
It seems like there is no play yet, just auditions. Jessica is dressed as Dorothy, and Lila is the good witch.
Lila: Just close your eyes and tap your heels together three times.
Jessica: Como esta usted?
Lila: And think to yourself, there's no place like home.
Jessica: Dondo esta el ba~n~o?
Lila:... I'm a little muddled.
Jessica: Hola Pepe! Que tal?
Jessica: Aye Curamba. Enid esta muerta!
I apologise for the butchered Spanish. Go ahead and correct me!
At Moon Beach, Lila hits up Todd for all the details on his meeting up with Liz. Lila is shocked it didn't work, and accuses Winston of sabotaging everything. They decide in the end to just compromise. Enid comes inside and sees Jessica and starts to turn around to flee, but too late, Jessica saw her. Jessica isn't as mad as Enid thought, because the guy doing the auditions was so impressed with Jessica's language skills, that he thinks Jessica will be a big star in South America. Um. Okay.
Enid: And after that, who knows! Maybe you'll go to North America!
Poor, lonely Elizabeth is at home alone eating straight out of a tub of icecream. Winston peers through the window behind her and knocks before helping himself through the door. He literally drags Liz out with him. Elsewhere, Lila is leading Todd around with his eyes closed. They're at FUN DOGGIES.
Lila acts fake surprised to see Winston there and pushes Todd towards him, who then also sees Liz there.
Liz: Come on Winston, I'm sure Todd and Lila want to be alone.
Lila: Puh-lease. My job, thank God, is almost over.
Liz: Your job?
Lila: More like charity.
THE PENNY, IT DROPS. Now who is the stupid twin?
There's a private table set up for them, candlelight and all. AT FUN DOGGIES. Oh boy. Todd starts gushing about breaking Liz up and how much they miss each other blah blah blah cakes. Fun Doggies has a dance floor. Oookayyyyyyyyyy. And we end on a kiss. God, that was painful.