August 13th, 2009

chillin' like a villain

Sweet Valley High #1: Double Love (2008 Reissue Edition)

Yes, I'm recapping a book. Not a TV episode, an actual book from a library with pages and words and shit. My reasons for bringing you this recap are not because I'm trying to prove to you that I can read (though I can, and how!) but because I need an excuse to tell you this God-awful story. Brace yourself.

Picture this: you walk into your local library, the place where the Sweet Valley obsession began all those years ago. You've been inspired by 1bruce1 to go ahead and borrow some of the ol' books, take a trip down memory lane. All is well and good with the world...until you discover that your awful bastard library has thrown out EVERY SINGLE Sweet Valley High book, and replaced them with the six new, technologically-enhanced reissue books. I nigh-on died right then and there. I mean really, who does that? WHO? Has the whole world gone crazy? Why does nobody respect classic literature any more? The library staff are so lucky that I didn't take my frustrations out on them, or the next book in the SVH reissue series could well have been Super Thriller: Murder at the Library, where Jessica and Elizabeth get internships at an Australian newspaper and have to track me down using every single Aussie stereotype there is. (See The Simpsons: Bart vs. Australia for examples.)

Plus, I was so impressed with [info]llew30 and her comparison of the Power Play reissue to the original book that I thought I would do exactly the same thing with the first one. (Remember, llew30, imitation is the highest form of flattery!) Then I realised that I no longer have the original book. (It got ruined in a flash-flood about five years ago, and I kept it for a good three months, even though it was unreadable, until my mother made me throw it out because it started to smell.) So instead I'm going to just recap the reissue in all it's crappy-looking glory. There'll be a bit of crossover to the original, I'm sure, but please bear with me. But I WILL compare the covers:



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