February 2nd, 2009

Do it quietly

Jessica's Secret Diary, Volume III

Jessica's Secret Diary, Volume III

Welcome to yet another Sweet Valley Clip Show! Er, I mean, another Super Steamy Secret Diary! Same difference, really. Like the other diaries, it's just recaps of old Sweet Valley High books with a random subplot thrown in. In this one, it's not even a very interesting subplot aside from some Mr. Collins-style perviness.



So, the cover really isn't all that snarkable. It's just Jessica's head, and she looks exactly the same as she will in a few years when she's in college. And that beach vacation? Expired in August 1997. But that's okay, because the beach is in Miami, not Sweet Valley. Suck. I bet the ToddPunches and pool pushes aren't nearly as satisfying there.

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*jaw drops*

Sorry if I shouldn't be posting this, and feel free to delete it if I shouldn't, but I just had to share the complete and total AWESOMENESS of this line:

"Everybody thinks about going out with someone else once in a while. Whenever Todd and my relationship begins to feel boring, it's easy to be tempted by other guys. But it doesn't take me long to realise that I want to work things out with Todd. Maybe this experience with Brandon has been a good thing, and maybe it will help your relationship with Sam grow."
Saint Elizabeth Wakefield, page 135, SVH #85, Soap Star.

Hear that, guys? Cheating on your SO is a GOOD thing! Here we were thinking that Elizabeth was a low-down cheating cheater and all this time she was actually using a little-known technique for improving relationships! That's right guys, she does it all FOR TODD! It's a tough job, but someone's got to do it. And who's better at Making Sacrifices for the Good of Another Person than Saint Elizabeth?