iheartbusterk (iheartbusterk) wrote in 1bruce1,

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Sweet Valley High TV episode 16 "Love on the Line"

Since this is my first snark, feel free to comment away.

After this, I'll try to recap the rest of Season 1 in order.

The ep has a pretty similar story line to SVH #87 "My Best Friend's Boyfriend" minus the whole teacher sexually harassing a student. Although Mr. Collins seems interested in Manny.....

The credits start and as always we get a montage of the perfect Californian high schooler's life; no school, at the beach in scantily clad swim suits, hanging out at the Moon Beach Cafe. Two things about the credits, Amy Danles (i.e. Enid) looks like she's about to cry in her credit "snap shot" and Bridget Flanery (i.e. inferior Lila) looks like she's about to launch into a strip tease. Yes, I actually know the names of the actors other than the Daniels twins.

The episode opens with Winston trying out his Japanese phrases since he's hosting a foreign exchange student, Koichi. Apparently continuity wasn't important in the show either because Koichi was in episode 15. Winston realizes that he has 10 minutes to get to the airport. Bruce plays yet another prank on Winston by putting hot sauce into Winston's shake and the water Winston uses  to wash the hot sauce out.

At the teen hotline, we find Mr. Collins supervising the student volunteers. For once, Mr. Collins seems to be doing something not at all creepy until he listens to Manny's conversation. He seems too intent on a discussion of boxers with a supposed girl friend and not just because the hotline isn't for personal calls. Then we switch over to Enid. She's talking to Mike about his parents' divorce. her "advice", that he'll eventually get over it, isn't wrong, but it's kinda weak. Enid discovers that he's on a pay phone because he can't find a private place to talk. He should totally be hitting his divorcing parents up for a cell phone. Playing parents against one other worked for Claire Standish, it can work for Mike. His pay phone usage leads to a lame Superman joke that End laughs way too hard at. Then Mike asks her out and Enid says yes. Isn't there some sort of ethical thing that she needs to sign that prevents her from doing just that? 

Then we switch over to the airport. Winston discovers that Koichi can speak perfect English. Of course Winston expected the guy to know absolutely nothing because he's not from the center of the universe, i.e. Sweet Valley. Koichi is also something of a lady's man having scored dates with the two air stewardesses (or is it attendants?)

Next up is the Enid announcing her date to Jessica, Lila, and Elizabeth. Lila's outfit is so not a Lila outfit. The whole first season at least of SVH:The TV series should be declared anathema. Lila repeats outifts several times. Lila is not an outfit repeater.

Winston finds out that Koichi's dad makes rubber food for restaurant displays. Down the hall, Enid spills the beans to Liz about Mike and says that they reached out and touched each other. I know that this was a slogan for a phone company but EWWWWW!

At the Moon Beach Cafe, Koichi goes on about the Japanese ability with video games because heaven knows that every Japanese kid comes with a game controller and gaming skills at birth. Koichi marvels about the twins because all must bow before their size six figures and pacific blue eyes. Then he does some zen pen trick accompanied by stereotypical Japanese music. I guess that each Japanese kid also comes out with karate skills. Winston also calls Koichi the Japanese Bruce. So does that mean that Koichi's license plate is 1koichi1?

At the Wakefield home, which doesn't look like it's tiled with those famed Spanish tiles, Liz and Enid are talking. Enid's all nervous about her date, claiming at one point that he probably looks like Porky kid, meaning that he's fat and we all know that being fat is a death sentence in SV. Enid says that she'll go to the movies with Liz and Todd. The movies are "Deadly Attraction" and "Fatal Desire". Wow, the SV ghostwriters should've used those titles.

Moon Beach: Enid goes in and is so nervous that she just grabs the napkin dispenser. I can't really snark at this. I'm just as nervous with guys and tend to go monosyllabic. She goes out and has Jessica go in to tell Mike that she can't come in. Why does Enid trust Jessica with this? She knows that Jessica will date any guy with a pulse who isn't fat or a nerd. She knows that Jessica will do anything to get what Jessica wants. Enid is "special". As every single person could guess, Jessica tells Mike that she's Enid, in front of Enid.

School: Enid's crushed about Jessica's betrayal (again, why the surprise feeling?) and Liz is all 'I don't know what's gotten into Jessica'. Liz, it's the same thing that Jess does every night, date every cute guy who crosses her path. Jess says that when Mike sees Enid he'll lose faith in the hotline because Enid's so butt ugly that she only wanted to date him to be popular. Enid resolves to take Jess away from Mike.

Hotline: Enid sets up a date with Mike to play miniature golf. Mike was planning on a balloon ride. For a second date? Seems a bit fancy.

Miniature Golf place: Enid hatches a plan where Enid plays Liz and Liz becomes Enid. Todd displays his intelligence by wondering who he is in the scheme. MENSA, we have a new applicant for you. Mike meets up with the three of them and from the start Todd clearly has Todd Punch on his face. Liz!Enid goes around acting like Jessica. Todd gets closer to punching Mike out. We get a crap pop song and Mike storms off.

Quick cut back to the MBC, Koichi puts a rubber octopus into Bruce's sandwich. This is lame.

Back to the miniature golf, Enid follows Mike into an arcade place and tells Mike that he should give Liz!Enid!Jessica another chance. Meanwhile, Todd and Liz have started making out. Mike discovers them and is all aghast. He wouldn't be so aghast if he knew Liz's real history with guys. Mike and Enid get together with all sorts of corny lines about how Enid looks just fine to Mike.

The episode ends with Mike, Enid, Liz, and Todd watching as Jess goes on the planned balloon ride with Winston and Koichi. Take that Jessica!
Tags: tv show

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