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Elizabeth and Jessica are better than you.

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[sticky post] Admin: Recap List [Jan. 22nd, 2013|09:56 pm]
Elizabeth and Jessica are better than you.

esc_key
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I would like to find a new place to host the list of completed recaps because ours is now too long for LiveJournal, and we can't add to it. I was making additions on the website for a time, but that's gone now too.

Books that have not been recapped are just numbers, have not been done (To save space, since LJ has a limit, I removed the TV and misc recaps--they can still be found in our profile--and I have stopped linking additional recaps of the same books.)

Please let me know if I am missing any recaps you've done or read!

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This Book Comes Fully Equipped with a Bottle of Wine and Paper Cups [Dec. 6th, 2018|09:10 pm]
Elizabeth and Jessica are better than you.

llew30


I might be dating myself just a little bit here, but this book is nothing but "Sweet Valley High" on steroids.

Just substitute "blond hair, blue eyed, perfect size six figures" for Asian looks, stir in every single name brand label from "The Devil Wears Prada" and shake vigorously with as much over-the-top displays of porn wealth and Kevin Kwan has written himself a book.

A book that might as well have 1ASIAN1 embossed on the cover and come fully equipped with a bottle of wine and an unlimited supply of paper cups.

Francine Pascal should really push Kevin Kwan into the nearest pool...atop a fifty-seven story building in Singapore.

Rachel and Nick (Elizabeth Wakefield and Todd Wilkins?) do not make a story. Astrid and Michael (the b-plot) try to be the other half of the story but they fail too. There's nothing here but 527 pages of redundant description of extravagant living and a huge ensemble cast of Asian characters that the reader will quickly give up trying to remember, much less care about.

No, it's all about the wealth. The 40 million dollar wedding Rachel and Nick attend and how Princess Astrid (Lila Fowler?) blows nearly the same amount on couture from Paris every year just for the heck of it until she learns her husband Michael may be cheating on her.
Exactly one half of these four characters were born with silver spoons in their mouths, the other half were not.

This book also contains references to oral sex, the f-bomb is dropped several times and every single one of the crazy rich characters are also crazy mean...to everyone they meet. Except Nick, of course. Poor Rachel finds a dead fish in her room, for example, but that's about as extreme as the mean pranks get from the CRA crowd.
Would tricking someone into eating a shaving cream sundae be too much to ask?

What was most disappointing about this book was that Nick and Rachel *spoiler alert* do NOT get married at the end. Astrid and Michael don't reconcile either. Guess you have to read the sequel to find out what happens next.
Unfortunately, I don't really care.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to check what my entire collection of Sweet Valley paperback books might fetch on the 2018 Asian market...

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Looking for the following as e-books [Apr. 21st, 2018|10:00 pm]
Elizabeth and Jessica are better than you.

ultimate_cin
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Does anyone have the following SVH books as e-books?
#103: Operation Love Match, #111: A Deadly Christmas, #116:Nightmare in Death Valley, #120: In Love with the Enemy, #125: Camp Killer
Super Editions:
Perfect Summer, Special Christmas, Spring Break, Malibu Summer, Winter Carnival, Spring Fever, Falling for Lucas, Jessica Takes Manhattan, Mystery Date, Last Wish, Earthquake, Aftershock
Super Thrillers:
Double Jeopardy, On the Run, No Place to Hide, Deadly Summer, Murder on the Line, Murder in Paradise, A Stranger in the House, A Killer on Board, R for Revenge
Super Stars:
Lila's Story, Bruce's Story, Enid's Story, Olivia's Story, Todd's Story, A Night to Remember, Elizabeth's Secret Diary I-III, Jessica's Secret Diary I-III, Return of the Evil Twin

I have all of the rest if anyone wants to trade.

Also looking for any of the Sweet Valley University books as e-books as well.

Thanks!!
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The TV series [Apr. 16th, 2018|10:19 pm]
Elizabeth and Jessica are better than you.

pi_beta_alpha
[Current Mood |contemplativecontemplative]

I know this place is dead but...
I've so enjoyed this place as a refuge from the real world in the past years and didn't find it until long after it had tapered off.  @Skittlebox, @Hellobrisvegas and others did such a nice job of recapping the TV series that I had no real recollection of so recently I dove into it on youtube.  My older siblings loved this show but it was a bit before my time, and I'm getting random "OMG I REMEMER THAT" pings but for the most part I'm laughing so hard at some of the eps, not because they're bad (sometimes they really are) but because they're just so damn CRAZY.   Some are, as the recappers stated, legit funny.  I'm watching one right now and am laughing so hard at the shenanigans.

We here are dealing with some pet issues (end of life, sicknesses, multiple vet trips, etc.) and visiting these episodes I barely remember if at all has been some really weird therapy in a form of really fuzzy nostalgia from remembering various stuff from my siblings watching this show and just laughing so hard at the damn cheesy-ness.  Some of the acting along the way is pretty good and even if it's not, it can still deliver some hilarity.

If anyone out there is a pet owner who has needed a lift when it comes to their pets illnesses and needing a "Get away" from those illnesses, they'll know what I mean when I say this random stuff is so appeciated.  It was the death of a close family member that made me pick pick up "The Evil Twin" and remember all that insane Margo shit that brought me back into the SVH world simply as a form of comfort "from the old days".

If it weren't for this community, I would have never found nor thought of those episodes of SVH to make me laugh now.

I hate that I didn't find this community until SVH was "no longer a thing".  =(
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e-book mishap [Mar. 29th, 2018|02:46 pm]
Elizabeth and Jessica are better than you.

pi_beta_alpha
So whenever I'm looking for ebooks, SVH stuff will still appear in my recommended column.  I haven't ruined Sweet Valley for awhile, and that needs to change, because today I got this little gem recommended.  Either someone made a horrible typo or made a horrible typo on purpose.

https://openlibrary.org/works/OL3551925W/Vagina's_Legacy

Yep, Liz gets a camera and bad guys abound in SVH :73, "Vagina's Legacy".

You're welcome.
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SVU 36: Have You Heard About Elizabeth? [Mar. 26th, 2018|09:35 pm]
Elizabeth and Jessica are better than you.

melody_powers
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I'm back after a few months' delay to recap SVU 36, Have You Heard About Elizabeth? Well, let's see. Perfect size six? Pacific Ocean-colored eyes? Matching barrettes? Master of the condescending shoulder pat? Yep, heard about her.

Okay, so I have to admit that this isn't a terrible cover. Elizabeth and Jessica do spend some time being sisterly, and they actually look kind of cute here. However, this will probably be the nicest thing I say about this book, so I'm glad I was able to get it out of the way so quickly.

Speaking of getting things out of the way, the ghostwriter gives us the "identical but so different" speech on page three, so at least I don't have to live with any suspense in this one. I'm going to divide this recap into three parts for the three separate plots in which very little actually happens. I'm serious: this book probably could have been ten pages long if they'd cut out the repetitive and/or unnecessary parts.

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And that's the book. I think the C plot was the most interesting one in the book, because aside from Liz and Tom's shouting match nothing really happened in the other two. Just lots of people being indecisive about things. At least Denise was out there doing stuff, even if that stuff consisted entirely of increasingly idiotic decisions.

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SVU #34: Spy Girl [Jan. 6th, 2018|09:38 pm]
Elizabeth and Jessica are better than you.

melody_powers
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I'm back again with another recap/attempt to revive this wonderful community! This book is the second in a miniseries that started with Out of the Picture, where everyone's trying to solve a murder mystery even though they all suck at it.

I don't know what the point of this cover picture is. There's only one scene where Jessica talks on the phone, and it's not really pivotal to anything that happens in the book. If they wanted a cover that conveys the tone of the story, they should have shown Tom and Elizabeth brooding angrily while a bunch of wealthy, vapid brats look on.

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SVU #32: The Boys of Summer [Nov. 4th, 2017|10:11 pm]
Elizabeth and Jessica are better than you.

melody_powers
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My first recap in lots of years.  Hope I'm not too rusty at it!  This is the final book in the second SVU lifeguard trilogy, in which Jessica, Elizabeth, Nina, and Winston have wacky adventures on the beach during a summer vacation that exists in some kind of alternate dimension to the regular SVU series. The first book, Beauty and the Beach, has already been recapped but the second has not. Judging from the backstory given in this one, I don't think we missed all that much.



Here's the cover, and I literally have no idea who's who in that human pyramid.  Either Elizabeth or Jessica is presumably the blond girl at the top (I mean, where else would they be?), but everyone else is a mystery.

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Anyone else still here? [Oct. 14th, 2017|08:17 pm]
Elizabeth and Jessica are better than you.

melody_powers
I've been rereading old entries (and laughing my ass off) and started feeling a little sad that this community hasn't been active lately. I would love it if we could finish the missing recaps, and I am more than willing to contribute, but first I thought I should find out if anyone is still around.

So, hi! How's everyone doing these days?
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YOU CAN NOW HAVE YOUR PORTRAIT DRAWN IN THE STYLE OF “SWEET VALLEY HIGH” COVERS [Jun. 4th, 2016|09:03 pm]
Elizabeth and Jessica are better than you.

gojl5567
James Mathewue takes commissions, and for $200 will create a portrait of you in a SVH book.
s

If anyone gets this done, I would love to see the photo.
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