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Elizabeth and Jessica are better than you.

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SVH Super Edition #9 – Mystery Date (or, the one where Ken and Olivia get together) [Dec. 22nd, 2007|08:10 pm]
Elizabeth and Jessica are better than you.

dirtywingsgirl
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In which internet dating is new-fangled and odd, and people do not, under any circumstances, reveal their real names to each other online. Not even their first names. Not even after weeks of chatting. Nope. That would be too inconvenient to the plot line dangerous.


Raise your hands if you are unsurprised that Sweet Valley High has a book with the cheesy title of “Mystery Date”…

This book is friggin’ awesome. There’s a suicide attempt (!), Jessica dates two guys at the same time (literally), weird couples get together, all the cliques in the school fight, unlikely people talk to each other, and characters who haven’t gotten a mention for eons make cameos. It’s excellent. Let’s get into it.

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Sweet Valley High #70: Ms. Quarterback [Dec. 20th, 2007|12:22 am]
Elizabeth and Jessica are better than you.

daniellafromage
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Claire/daniellafromage = OTP??

Okay. Maybe it's just me, but Claire is SMOKIN' hot. Goddamn. I said Goddamn. I'm embarrassing myself here, but seriously. Claire is a ten. She looks kind of butch (I can imagine the discussion room with Yzma!Francine: "She is a girrrrrrl who plays sports? MAKE HER LOOK LIKE A LESBIAN, YOU FOOLS!"), but I who even cares? She is delicious. I am like the Big Bad Wolf in the Red Hot Riding Hood cartoon.


That was my reaction when I saw this cover for the first time in years, give or take some table-thumping. Seriously, she's good-looking, yo. Most attractive Sweet Valley cover girl ever. Om nom nom.


Read on!Collapse )

Edit: No, I have no good explanation for why a clip of Meg Cabot summarising Little Women ended up in my recap. Check your links before you post, kids!
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Sweet Valley High #35: Out of Control [Dec. 16th, 2007|12:58 pm]
Elizabeth and Jessica are better than you.

irinaauthor
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SweetValley High #35: Out of Control

That’s Aaron Dallas, soccer player. The cover is interesting, and not just because Liz is wearing clown pants with a million pleats in them. Jeffrey’s floppy hair looks like Hermie the elf, and Aaron…well…to put it kindly, he doesn’t look like he could beat up a ten year old girl.











So, what’s Aaron’s deal? Is he on steroids, or a garden-variety rageaholic? Whatever the problem is, I bet Saint Elizabeth will sort it out for him.

And the B Plot? It’s the infamous Tofu-Glo storyline. Aw, yeah.


A PlotCollapse )

B PlotCollapse )
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Sweet Valley High #113 – The Pom-Pom Wars or, The Most Quote-filled Recap I Have Ever Done [Dec. 11th, 2007|11:01 pm]
Elizabeth and Jessica are better than you.

dirtywingsgirl
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[Current Mood |tiredtired]

Sorry for taking so long to do the second book in this miniseries!


Hehe, I’d like to note that on my particular copy of this book, I scratched beards and mustaches onto the Jessica and Elizabeth above the ‘Sweet Valley High’ lettering.

=) In my recap of ‘Jessica Quits the Squad’, I posed these questions at the end:

Will Liz find Jess' tear stains on her sheets?

Will Annie and Heather have a lesbian fling?

Will Jessica start her own cheerleading squad and take them to regionals?

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Sweet Valley High #83: Steven's Bride [Dec. 10th, 2007|06:04 pm]
Elizabeth and Jessica are better than you.

daniellafromage
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Look at that title. Steven's Bride. Really, have two words ever sounded more terrifying? This book should have been recapped in the build-up to Halloween.

Cover.

Cara looks like my cousin. She's pretty, although those loose strands of hair are bugging the shiz out of me. Steven looks like a Ken doll. Appropriate, considering Sweet Vallians are anatomically-challenged in the groinal region. Also, I love how unexcited the teaser-line sounds. "It's the biggest decision of their lives. I guess. Whatever. Want some pie?"

Read on!Collapse )
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Sweet Valley High #15 Promises [Dec. 10th, 2007|05:24 am]
Elizabeth and Jessica are better than you.

gossip_oracle
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[Current Mood |nervousnervous]

Alo. I'm newish. First time posting here. Someone kept mentioning I should post here, so uh, here I am. Looked at the list of reviewed books, didn't see crack whore Betsy on the list, so I thought I'd tweak mine and share. To your left you'll find the barrel of rotting fruit, to your right, the bar. Onward!




The Adventures of Crackwhore Martin in Wakefield Land...Collapse )
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Sweet Valley High Super Edition~ Last Wish [Dec. 8th, 2007|06:01 pm]
Elizabeth and Jessica are better than you.
leah1878
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Sweet Valley High Super Edition~ Last Wish



Read more...Collapse )
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Sweet Valley High #89: Elizabeth Betrayed [Dec. 8th, 2007|11:58 am]
Elizabeth and Jessica are better than you.

irinaauthor
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Sweet Valley High #89: Elizabeth Betrayed
I love books like this, where bad things happen to Elizabeth and Jessica gets to be awesome.











That’s Penny, Liz, and Olivia. Penny is only in the book for about two pages, but whatever. I think I had Olivia’s skirt when I was eleven. I wore it for Christmas. She looks super-bohemian in her pearls and mock-turtleneck, don’t you think?


A PlotCollapse )

B PlotCollapse )
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(no subject) [Dec. 5th, 2007|10:09 am]
Elizabeth and Jessica are better than you.

irinaauthor
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Sweet Valley High Super Star: Todd's Story

Warning: This book contains punching. And also some attempted girlfriend stealing. And punching. Parental Guidance suggested.









Todd looks really weird. I can’t put my finger on it, but his face is messed up. Maybe something about his mouth?


Todd Punch's Magnum OpusCollapse )
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Jessica's Secret Diary volume 1 part 2 [Dec. 3rd, 2007|01:36 pm]
Elizabeth and Jessica are better than you.

roseability_
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You guys, Regina's about to die!






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