|Jessica's Top Worst Moments
||[Apr. 5th, 2011|10:14 pm]
Elizabeth and Jessica are better than you.
So, I don't know about y'all, but when I read about what Jessica did to alienate Elizabeth in SVC, I was disappointed. I haven't read the book yet (the local Borders is slow and very disappointing!), but still. Anyway, in honor of the new book being out, I suggest we Top Ten - yes, it's a verb now - Jessica's Worst Moments. Because surely all of these are worse!
[Disclaimer: I didn't have the original list I worked out before when I typed this tonight, so some may be out of order. Tried to remember as best as I could, though.]
10. Outing Enid's drug past just to win Homecoming Queen in SVH #2, Secrets. We all have stuff in our past we'd like kept secret. Some of us have more sordid stories. What hell could be worse for a teenager than having it broadcast all over school just for the sake of some popular girl wearing a paper crown?
9. Stealing money from Liz's bank account in SVU #3, What Your Parents Don't Know.... Just because you LOOK like the account holder doesn't mean you're entitled to their money, girl! (Thanks to scarlettslegacy for pointing that out!)
8. Secretly coveting and then sneaking around with Jeffrey, then Todd, in Jessica's Secret Diary Volume One and Jessica's Secret Diary Volume Two. How sad is it that stealing her sister's boyfriends is almost last on this list?!
7. Falsely accusing Todd of rape in SVH #1, Double Love. Just because he didn't want her, she didn't want Liz to have him, either. Bad Jessica. :(
6. Two-Boy Weekend.... No, make that three-boy weekend in SVH #54. She was pining over Todd (see #8), dating AJ, and sneaking around with Psycho Christopher. There are no words...
5. The Michael McAllery marriage in SVU, from Anything For Love through The Love of Her Life. Both parties were super immature, true. Mike was maybe more immature than her and certainly had quite a few problems, but reading the recaps of those books and the comments, I've actually realized something recently here that I never did before: Mike had issues that she didn't exactly help with. He clearly had problems with his mother in the past, and her pretty much acting like her marriage was this big secret to Never Ever Tell Anyone About didn't help. That last bit is the reason this one is on the list.
4. Jeremy Randall.... need I say more? SVH #107, Jessica's Secret Love through #111, A Deadly Christmas. She goes out with a man who's engaged to be married to a woman who may or may not be dying (spoiler alert: not), and speaks up at the wedding, canceling it. Yes, Jeremy was in cahoots with Sue, as it turns out, and he was using both girls, but c'mon. Interrupting a wedding? Girl, seriously?
3. Keeping Annie Whitman off the squad and being so snotty that she inadvertently drove her to attempt suicide in SVH #10, Wrong Kind of Girl. How cruel early-SVH Jessica was! :-(
2. The Sam Burgess incident in SVU Super Special Face It. You want to prevent your twin from sleeping with someone you feel is wrong for her. So the answer is... make her think you wanted to boink him, too?!!
And coming in at #1...
1. Three words: Magical Prom Vodka (A Night To Remember through The Evil Twin). Again, for the sake of a crown (see #9), she sabotaged someone. The victim: Her twin sister. The crime: Spiking her punch. The result: Her boyfriend died. She then spent several weeks sitting silently by and letting Elizabeth go through an agonizing trial. Yes, she tried to speak up after a while, but only at the very end of this miniseries. And even then, Liz only found out through her Magical Dreams of Truth.
What's shocking is that after all this, we still love the little sociopath. I know I still do, anyway. ;-)
So what about y'all? What would be on your lists? (And may I suggest we do Top Tens with other things? This was fun!)
Didn't she attempt to take out a loan using the Jeep as collatoral when she was broke in SVU, and only ditched the idea when she couldn't impersonate co-owner Elizabeth?
Damn, I forgot that one! I'm totally replacing #10 with it. She did that in SVU #3. Bank fraud. Bad girl. :(
2011-04-06 04:14 pm (UTC)
Shitty Parents of the Year Award
I propose a top ten list of the shittiest Wakefield parenting moves of all time. The challenge here would be narrowing it down to just 10!
2011-04-06 07:18 pm (UTC)
Re: Shitty Parents of the Year Award
We could also do Top Ten Lila-Jessica pals moments (again, the Jeremy Randall arc comes to mind - them giggling in the store) and Top Todd Fails and... oh, too many ideas!!
2011-04-12 02:31 pm (UTC)
Re: Shitty Parents of the Year Award
We TOTALLY should! Awesome idea!
Throwing Sue's wedding dress in front of a truck was both cruel and superbly awesome. It's why I love her! And I never understood how Enid could possibly have been prom queen anyway.
But yeah, I don't mind her being like this to others- but not to her own twin sister.
Hee, I love it! Although even as I was reading this list I was thinking "I'm sure she's done worse than this..." The Prom Night incident and the Annie Whitman stuff stood out as the worst ones for me, I think ^^
When the Theta want Liz to go out with some guy (Peter?) and Liz refuses, Jedss can't accept that Liz just doesn't want to be a Theta, oh no, she goes and impersonates Liz on the date... and subsequently loses Liz's place in the sorority she DOES want to be in.
This is fantastic - and makes me wonder just why I still like her when she's capable of all this?!
Love it. Maybe we could top-ten the best Todd Punches?
Definitely Magical Vodka. I've always been Team Jessica, but that was....incredibly low. I do remember a part in The Evil Twin where she finally realizes the magnitude of the repercussions of that little incident(Sam's death-->the whole Liz thing-->James' death, which never would've happened if Sam hadn't died, because they never would've met).....
love these even though Jess is my fave!
Your comment about what Jessica did to Liz sent me scrambling for Google, and if it's what I think it is, then I totally agree that it's a letdown compared to the stuff you've mentioned here. I'm going to look for Confidential when I go to the US next week, I'm dying to read it.
How about the Top Ten Femme Fatales (generic stunning beauties whose ONLY personal characteristic is that they are sociopathic man-hunters and who are ONLY thrown into the plots to pose problems for the main characters (and then they usually vanish afterward)? I'm thinking Suzanne Devlin, Courtney Kane, Courtney from Perfect Summer, Pamela from Playing for Keeps...
2011-06-19 07:12 pm (UTC)
The magic vodka was the worse. And not only did she not speak up during Elizabeth's trial, she steals her boyfriend and acts as if the thing was Elizabeth's fault. Um, your the one who spiked the drink. Its your fault. I hate Elizabeth but she never should have let Jessica off for that one.
You have to love how after meeting Margo, she decides Jessica's not a psych. Seriously Margo (asside from being very cool) had shitty childhood abused which went along way to turn her into what she was....what's Jessica's excuse?
2011-12-21 08:31 pm (UTC)
Seriously Margo (asside from being very cool) had shitty childhood abused which went along way to turn her into what she was....what's Jessica's excuse?
That's a little harsh. Jessica has been through some pretty shitty stuff too. At least she never murdered two innocent children.:( *tear*